


It's all in the coffee

by Shared_Shield



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hospital, Injury, M/M, Marriage, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rugby, also The Great cast, also y'all im bitter and it shows, ben and gwil being idiots, guest starring: joe's and rami's family, joe is a shithead but we love him anyway, nothing too graphic, rami being the one with the brain cell, there's gonna be some allen/gwil so stay tuned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shared_Shield/pseuds/Shared_Shield
Summary: Joe and Rami are getting married and Joe doesn't want his best friend Ben to attend the wedding on his own, because that would just be sad, right? Best Friend Ben however is fed up with Joe's efforts to find him a date and tells him he's in a relationship with Sexy Barista Gwil. Only that he isn't actually in a relationship with Sexy Barista Gwil.He might not have thought this through.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee, Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12
Collections: Two Years of BoRhap 2020 Exchange





	1. It's all Joe's fault

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spacedust719](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedust719/gifts).



> Here we are! My entry for the Two Years of BoRhap 2020 Exchange! Yay!  
> First and foremost, I'm sorry that this is not done yet. I've started to work on my prompt, got stuck (and I already had 7 pages, ugh), made a new storyline that is far too long, got bombarded with work for Uni, got stuck again, worked through it and here we are with maybe half of the story?  
> I will finish it, of course, I mean I even got a complete storyline, and I hope I'll be able to do that in something like two weeks (but don't take me up on that please, the profs are crazy).
> 
> Anyways, I hope y'all can enjoy this first part, especially you, @spacedust719! Happy BoRHap anniversary!

In hindsight, Ben thinks, he has no idea how everything could happen just the way it did. But he knows why. Joe.

“C’mon, Ben, let me set you up, I’ll find the perfect partner for, even if it’s going to be just for one night”, Joe whines and sounds about a quarter of his actual age.

Ben sighs. They have been having this discussion for 20 minutes now.

“I don’t want to mindlessly hook up with somebody at your wedding, Joe, that’s stupid. Can’t you be happy that every bit of my attention will be directed at you and Rami?”

“Well, it always should be, thank you very much. But my attention will be on Rami and the gazillion guests, I don’t want you to be lonely.”

“I won’t be lonely, all of my friends will be there”, Ben takes a sip from his coffee and holds his finger up to stop Joe from talking, “And despite all of them being in a relationship I still won’t be lonely or desperate or anything.”

“Sure”, Joe scoffs, “You’ll be just as not lonely and not desperate as you were at Polly’s wedding. Remember Polly’s wedding?”

Ben groans.

He does, or rather he doesn’t. Polly’s wedding had found him newly single and thoroughly heartbroken which was why he had made it his mission to take as much advantage of the free alcohol as possible, which in turn had left Joe and Rami with the duty of taking care of him during most of the evening.  
After puking his guts out and going nearly blind with the hangover, he had gifted Joe and Rami a brunch in a posh restaurant to atone for his sins and while both have forgiven him, Joe still likes to use this particular instance as the leading example as to why Ben can absolutely not go to a wedding or similar function on his own.

“Also, you have to bring a date to sit at our table so that there’s an even number there.”

“That’s bullshit, Joe.”

“Hey, it’s not me who’s saying that, it’s the wedding planner. Apparently uneven numbers bring bad luck. And don’t you want to sit at my table, with me, you very, very, very best friend?”, Joe bats his eyes at him and looks more like one of those creepy dolls with moving eye lids than anything else.

“If you had made me your best man, I wouldn’t have to need an excuse to sit at your table!”

Ouch. That was low and Ben regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Joe, I didn’t mean it like that. I know why you made John your best man, and I understand it”, he carefully reaches over to squeeze Joe’s arm.

“It’s fine”, he says, but it sounds clipped, “I’ll go and get another round of coffee.”

Ben sighs and tiredly scrubs his hands over his face. He didn’t mean to make Joe angry, really, he’s just so damn over talking about his hopeless love life, especially when Joe should be concentrating on things far more important, namely his own wedding.

But then again, Joe’s not wrong, Ben is shit at going to weddings single, he does not enjoy being alone when surrounded by couples, that are all talking about moving in together, traveling together, getting married or having kids. And it is completely understandable that Joe does not want his day to end in disaster just because Ben does not have his shit together. If Joe just could stop nagging Ben about it, it would be a lot easier to make Rami and Joe as the happy couple Ben’s focus and not his distinct lack of romantic endeavors. 

So, what if…? What if he could throw Joe off? Just a little white lie to get this ridiculous man to actually concentrate on his wedding? It would not hurt anyone, saying he has a boyfriend but that the relationship is still too new to be subjected to the wedding of his best friend.

Ben’s eyes fall to Joe at the counter who’s checking his phone and behind him… Gwil. He knows the barista a little, Joe, Rami and Ben come to this coffee shop fairly often and Gwil always looks out for them as his regulars, he knows their orders, he actually sees when they had a shitty day and always adds a biscuit or scone to their drinks when it happens.  
And he is exceptionally good looking. Sharp cheekbones, long, slim legs, a charming smile and beautiful eyes. Judging objectively of course. Ben has never met anyone who did not gush about Gwil after seeing him for the first time.

So, what if he would just… no, that is a stupid idea, he can’t just say that he’s dating Gwil, what if Joe would just go straight up to him and ask? What if Gwil is in a relationship already and Joe knows about that? 

Yeah, no, it wouldn’t work, it is a dumb thought and incredibly hurtful to both Joe and Gwil. You don’t go around telling lies like that.

“You know, Sami mentioned a childhood friend of Rami and him being single again and the guy will be at the wedding too”, Joe begins again when he comes back to the table like Ben hasn’t just been the biggest prick ever, “I mean, if you are okay with sitting at the singles’ table, then we could place you beside each other, just to get to know each other, of course-“

And Joe just continues to go on about this and as much as Ben loves his friend, he’s through with this topic and at this point and his next action will be either to cry or to throw something, which is both definitely not appropriate, so he intervenes before it can get really ugly.

“Joe! Joe, just stop for a second, okay? I- Technically, I can’t sit at the singles’ table.”

“That’s ridiculous. You don’t have to talk anyone if you don’t want to and-“

“No, Joe, I can’t sit at the singles table because I’m technically not single”, okay, fuck, he’s really doing this, there’s no turning back now.

Joe narrows his eyes at him. “What do you mean technically not single? Benny, is there something you haven’t told me, do you have a secret??”

He leans so far over the table he’s right up in Ben’s face, who leans back and brushes his fingers through his hair.

“I mean, no, not really. Or it’s not really worthy of being called a secret yet”, he pushes out a breath feeling how he starts to sweat because he’s lying to Joe and because he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, “It’s just very new, but I have good feeling and I don’t want it to end before it’s really started, okay? So, please, Joe, can you please not make a big deal out of it?”

Joe’s eyes are glittering, and his grin has a bit of a shark-ish note.

“Joe, please.”

“Alright, alright”, he raises his hands in an apologetic gesture, “I won’t, don’t worry, but only if you tell me who it is.”

“That’s blackmail.”

“Say it, Ben. You know I won’t stop until you say it.”

“You’re a child”, he groans. Ben knows Joe won’t let up and this thing will probably be even worse than the setting-Ben-up thing. He desperately looks around the room to catch a random name he can just throw in the ring to get Joe off his back, and there’s Gwil again clearing a table, and, fucking hell, he catches his eye and smiles.

And Joe sees it.

Shit. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. 

Joe slams his fist on the table. “It’s Gwil?!?”

“Shh, fuck, Joe, shut up!!”

“ _It’s Gwil?!_ ”, Joe shout-whispers. He looks at Ben as if he just told him that pigs can actually fly and do so pretty frequently. “Are you serious? Gwilym, the sexy barista? Ben, you’re shitting me.”

“Jeez, thanks, Joe, great to know that you think I couldn’t land him.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that”, he sits back up again and watches Gwil for second, then shakes his head. “You might just be the luckiest man on earth.”

“Says the man who’s ought to marry the love of his life in a few weeks?”

“Rami and I don’t count, we would make everyone else look pathetic”, Joe starts to grin again, and Ben gets a bad, bad feeling in his stomach. “But this is perfect! We can invite Gwil to the wedding, I mean, he basically witnessed our whole relationship and he knows us, it wouldn’t even be awkward! Oh please, Ben, you have to bring him!”

Joe’s right, Gwil has witnessed all the highs and lows of the Malek-Mazzello epic, their first date, Joe telling Ben about it, Ben meeting Rami, their first fight and basically everything up to them mulling over the wedding, which they did at the café more often than not.

Shit. Ben really should’ve thought about this more. 

“I don’t think-“

“Oh c’mon. Ben, please. It could be your first romantic getaway together! And it’s still almost two months until the wedding, enough time to get comfortable with each other!”, Joe seems so taken by the idea, Ben feels extra bad for lying to him.

“Exactly! It’s still almost two months! Enough time for something to go terribly wrong!”

“Benny-boy, don’t talk like that!”

Joe slips into the chair beside Ben and wraps an arm around his shoulders. 

“Gwil’s a great guy, we both know that. Maybe just ask him if he wants to come to the stag do? As a night out, no pressure, and then Rami and I could ask him if he wants to come to Ireland. He’s not one of those assholes, who say they need ‘space’ and ‘everything’s going too fast’ and then ghost you, he’s not like that”, he presses a kiss to Ben’s temple and Ben feels his cheeks heating up in shame.

Joe’s done so much for him, has picked him up again and again and again when Ben’s flings and tries at romance never even came close to the relationship phase because Ben’s ‘just not their type’ or ‘too clingy’ or because they thought that ‘he knew that this was nothing serious’. Joe’s been there through all of that and even comforts him when he has far more important things to do and here’s Ben lying to his best friend.

What a huge prick he is.

Gwil is just about done with cleaning the milk frother when the bell over the entrance door announces another visitor. He groans quietly, it’s cold, dark and wet outside and he really wants to get to his bed at a reasonable time since Elle said she wouldn’t make it to her shift tomorrow and Nick can’t brave the morning rush by himself.

Normally, he doesn’t mind stragglers, the ones who make it home only late and maybe want something hot to warm up or sweet for their dinner. Making a tea doesn’t take much time and Gwil gets to sell his leftovers instead of throwing them away, but he’s really, really not in the mood to stay any longer than necessary today.

He turns to tell the customer that but stops halfway. It’s Ben.

Ben with droplets of rain in his curls, with cheeks reddened from the wind outside and a shy smile. Gwil feels a bit hot under his apron.

It’s not a new feeling, that. Ben’s been coming here for years, first alone, then with Joe and finally with Joe and Rami, who often bring his brother and other friends. And no matter that this whole group of friends, for whatever reason, is insanely good-looking, it’s always been Ben who makes Gwil’s heart beat just a bit faster.

He knows it’s wrong and weird and a bit creepy to lust over a customer like that, so Gwil’s been careful to keep his thoughts and feelings close. Not even his coworkers know about it and they have all immersed themselves knee-deep into his love life, not that he actually wants that. 

But no matter what time of day, what weather, what day, what mood Ben’s in, Gwil can’t help but putting a bit extra care into making his coffee, having a blueberry scone already on a plate when he sees Ben being tired or sad, or just lending him a bit more of his time.

It’s pathetic, he knows that, but, fuck, Gwil can’t just stop liking Ben, no matter how hard he tries.

“Hey”, Ben starts, his voice a bit raspy, “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

Gwil smiles. “No, of course not, I’m just finishing up. No scones left over today though, sorry.”

“Huh? Oh, uh, that’s not why I’m here”, Ben laughs a bit, “But thanks. For offering, I mean.”

He wrings the beanie in his hands and Gwil can see his shoulders move when he takes a deep breath and then steps up to the counter.

“Listen, uh, I-I messed up big time today and I would totally understand if you never wanted to see me again here o-or anywhere, really.”

Poor beanie, Gwil thinks, Ben’s grip is so hard his knuckles are stark white against the dark fabric. But he’s also nervous about what Ben is going to say, what could possibly be as bad that Gwil should ban Ben from the café?

“I’m sure it’s not that bad”, he calms him, nevertheless.

Ben bites his lip.

“Just wait until you hear it. Uhm”, he clears his throat, “Today, I kinda told Joe that we’re, ah, dating?”

What? 

“What?”, Gwil echoes his own thought dumbly. 

What? But why? And really, if Ben wanted to date him, all he had to do is ask!

“I am so, so sorry, Gwil, really. I don’t want to hurt you or embarrass you or anything, it’s just—Joe’s been unbearable these last weeks about how I need someone to bring to the wedding and someone to date in general, but I really don’t want to but he doesn’t want to understand that and just keeps bringing it up and I think he has a folder on his phone with potential dates for me and I’m just so tired of it, of the discussion and of dating in general, it never leads to anything and I just wanted him off my back. I’m truly sorry, Gwil, to have pulled you into this. I didn’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

Okay, that was… a lot. Gwil’s not sure if he’s ever heard Ben talking that much. But as confusing that confession might have been, Gwil understands what he means. Hell, he has been sitting in the front seat of the reality show that is Ben’s dating life for some years now, and it’s been depressing, not just because it was never Gwil sitting across Ben. 

Of the numerous figures the blonde has brought to the café, maybe a handful had come around a second time, even less for a third or fourth time. Gwil understands why Ben doesn’t want to date anymore. Hell, he doesn’t want to date after only thinking of it.

And Gwil knows how obnoxious Joe can be. He’s Ben’s best friend, a true one, but that doesn’t change that he’s a child when he wants his way with something, especially when it concerns Ben’s emotional wellbeing. 

“I- But- What exactly have you told Joe, if I may ask?”, Gwil feels a bit faint. This is certainly something.

“Well, he wanted to place me at the singles’ table besides some guy that’s also there alone and then I said I couldn’t sit at the singles’ table because I’m not really single and then he just wouldn’t stop asking who I was talking about so I tried to think of a random name and looked around, but you looked at me and smiled, so Joe concluded that it’s you and I didn’t see a point in trying to convince him that it’s not you”, Ben is still standing a few feet away from the counter and with Gwil leaning against the one on the other side, he can’t quite see Ben’s face in the dim light.

“Then he started to go on about how this is perfect and that you absolutely need to come to the wedding, and I couldn’t convince him that that is a bad idea. I feel so bad for lying to him, Gwil. And that I pulled you into that.”

“Huh”, Gwil says and leaves it at that. Ben didn’t actually say they are a couple, Joe just assumed, and Ben didn’t correct him, which, if Gwil is honest to himself, he probably wouldn’t have done either if he had been in Ben’s place. “I think we need some tea.”

“So”, Gwil places their cups on the table nearest to the counter and sits down in the chair across from Ben, who’s hunched over his cup and looks positively miserable, “What do you want to do now?”

Ben looks up, clearly surprised.

“I- I’m not sure. I don’t want to go on lying to Joe, but I can’t get him to stop worrying and concentrating on his wedding if I tell him. But if I keep lying, he’ll be so angry and disappointed and I really don’t want to mess up our friendship with some bullshit like this”, he lets his head fall forward into his hands and groans.

At the same time, Gwil’s thoughts are racing. He really wants to help Ben, seeing him distraught like this is terrible, but Ben brought some good points forward. Gwil doesn’t want to be complicit in Ben messing up his friendship with Joe just as much as Ben doesn’t want it to come that. 

But Gwil also knows how truly shitty it feels to be single at a romantic function (and he imagines that being at your best friend’s wedding is even worse, no matter how genuinely happy you are for them) and how badly it can hurt to be reminded of the own loneliness over and over again and to be stuck together with other single people in a desperate attempt to (what feels like) shut them up and be lonely together without dragging down all the actually happy people around.

Logically, he’s aware of how messed-up it would be if he’d agree to help Ben with this and pose as his boyfriend, no matter how long. He would tease himself with the possibility of having Ben and then rip it out if his own hands and with it probably the ability of looking at and behaving around Ben normally ever again.

He likes him, Ben is funny and thoughtful and considerate. He doesn’t buy into this stereotypical masculinity crap and loves his friends fiercely and fully. He’s polite too, Gwil’s seen it, no matter how bad the date, Ben always tries to close on a positive note, tries to be as friendly as possible. Not to mention his looks.

Gwil catches sight of the clock and sighs a bit. He wanted to be in bed by now, or at least half asleep in front of the TV. Instead he finds himself caught up in quite the predicament that doesn’t seem to have a solution that leaves them all happy.

“You did what?!”, Phoebe raises her head so fast, she loses her grip on the mat and slips out of her downward facing dog and faceplants into the ground with a muffled ‘Umpff’.  
With her gone Gwil can see the stunned faces of Charity and Sasha.

“Why the hell would you agree to fake-date the man you’re in love with?!”, Charity hisses and their yoga instructor coughs to reprimand them for their interruptions.

“I’m not in love with Ben!”, Gwil argues, or at least he tries to, he’s not sure if his whispers reach them.

Well, Phoebe could hear him, but she just rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, and Catherine the Great didn’t actually fuck a horse, come on!”, she resumes her position, but a bit closer to him. “Why did you do it? Do you think this could grow into something real?”

“It’s not like that”, he says, “He just needed help and he was desperate.”

“Gwil, you’re a grade A masochist. He’s just playing you! With the number of guys he’s been at the café with, I really doubt he can’t scrunch up someone to accompany him to some stupid wedding.”

It’s obvious that Phoebe doesn’t like Ben very much. What’s more surprising though, is that, apparently, nearly if not all of his co-workers know of his… infatuation with Ben.

“It’s not just some wedding”, Gwil counters vehemently, “It’s his best friend’s wedding who is continuously nagging him about being single at the wedding and in general. It sucks, trust me, I know.”

“But he’s just using you!”

“Well, and even if he does, I’m getting two season passes for Blackheath FC and maybe even a free weekend at a lovely place in Ireland out of it.”

“So, you’re selling yourself, is that-“

There’s another cough, louder this time, and Phoebe and Gwil hesitantly raise their heads to look around the studio. Everyone else has moved on to the warrior while they are still in the dog position and have their instructor standing in front of their mats with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

“Please, Gwil”, Charity almost begs when they’re outside in front of the studio, “Think about it. You barely know him and he’s lying to his best friend, this can only end in total disaster.”

Phoebe nods, arms crossed and with a stern look on her face, she reminds Gwilym a bit of his mother. Sasha follows the exchange wearing a worried expression.

“I’m just helping him out! And I do know him, thank you very much, he’s been coming to the café for years now. And I know his friends. Why are you all so insistent that he’s a bad person?”, Gwil remains stubborn. He doesn’t get why they are so convinced that this will end in a disaster.

“It’s not that”, Sasha intervenes, “I’m sure he’s perfectly nice. But he has a history and a certain reputation and you, uh, you’ve always liked him quite a bit. We just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yeah, well, you could all mind your own business, how about that?!”

It’s not fair, it’s not fair that they judge Ben so harshly when they don’t even know him and it’s fucking annoying that they think they can meddle with his life. Gwil is a grown man, he can make his own decisions, and even if he prefers to act indecisive in relation to his love life, he knows what’s best for him there too.

He shoulders his bag and grabs his bike, knowing well that this exit might be a bit overly dramatic, but he is fucking angry and through with this discussion when all he intends to do is to help a mate out, whose reasons to take this drastic step have become even more understandable to Gwil just now.

Ben slips his fingers under his collar and pulls a bit, trying to somehow loosen up the tight shirt a bit, but the shop assistant bats his hands away.

“Stop it! Either you wear it this tight or you’ll get a real tie instead of the air tie.”

Ben huffs a bit, annoyed. The suit is… nice. Dark, well-fitting pants, a pair of black boots, a black shirt and a jacket he’s not sure of what colour. There’s black in there inside a weird pattern…? Point being he’s not used to such a fancy get-up. When Ben wants to put in some effort, what doesn’t happen too often these days, it’s usually a nice pair of pants and a sweater, dress shirt if need be.

And outside of that he’s all sweats and t-shirt, a hoodie and his beanie and he’s ready to go.

“Yes, Ben, and then we’ll put you in that sheer shirt again”, Joe says as he saunters over, already back in charcoal shirt and leather jacket. “Or the pink suit, I quite liked that one.”

“Piss off”, Ben growls and shifts uneasily. He’s not sure how much of his discomfort actually comes from the suit because this fluttering has been in his stomach all day.

It had been Rami’s idea to invite Gwil to dinner with them after the fitting. To get him to know a bit better without having to scream over the thumping bass in some club. Joe, naturally, had been immediately on board and sent Ben multiple badly concealed threats a day until Ben finally scrunched up the courage to ask Gwil to come.

Although it’s not too bad. With Gwil by his side, Ben at least wouldn’t be subjected to the inquisition on his own, no matter that his lie about Gwil had put him into this situation in the first place. They had thought up a backstory of how they started dating and it’s basically just that Ben stayed a bit longer at the café one night and helped with the cleaning which is how they got to talking. Simple, and a bit uninspired, so Ben is relieved to have Gwil with him to think up some details.

“Damn, Hardy, you looking fine”, Sami grins as he comes over from the separated dressing rooms where Rami is trying on his suit, “You wanna impress that boyfriend of yours?”

Ben just groans and starts to shrug off his jacket. “I hate this whole fucking family.”

Joe laughs at that. “Sami, did you hear that? He hates this whole fucking family”, he throws an arm around his almost brother-in-law and squeezes.

“We’ll see about that marrying part, Joe. I bet you’ll faint before Rami even makes it halfway down the aisle with as sharp as he’ll look.”

“No spoilers!”, Joe cries when Ben slips behind a curtain to change. He looks at himself in the mirror and can’t help but to shake his head a bit. His best friend with a mental age of around 12 years is getting married to the love of his life. And he is pretending to be in a relationship with the barista of his favorite café.

“Oh, Beeen”, Joe’s voice grows louder again and moves to his curtain, “Guess who’s heeere.”

Shit. Gwil’s already at the shop. Ben wipes his hands on his pants and pulls the curtain back. Game time.

“Not a word”, he hisses at Joe in passing, who puts his hands up in surrender.

Gwil is standing at the entrance from the shop, his coat with darker patches from the rain outside and dries his glasses with his sleeve. When he hears Ben approaching, he looks up. His hair is a bit windswept and his cheeks are red from the cold, but that just makes his eyes shine even more. 

Ben’s a bit speechless.

“I- Hey.”

“Hi”, Gwil smiles, “You look very good.”

“It’s just the- the suit for the wedding, I- thanks”, he finishes lamely. Jesus, this is torture. Is he always like this when interacting with people? No wonder he’s single. Ben hears Joe chuckling behind him, but when he turns around, Sami and he appear to be talking to each other. Bastards.

“Uh, we should probably...”

Ben takes a step towards Gwil, who takes a step back.

“My coat is so wet, and your suit-“

“Oh yeah, of course! Uhm, maybe we could-“

Ben leans forward as if to invite Gwil into a kiss, the taller man bows down a bit and Ben’s thoughts start to race. Is he supposed to kiss him? Would a peck on the lips be okay? Should it be more? Should it be just a kiss on the cheek? Maybe this awkward halfway hug that actually is just them pressing their cheeks together. Would Gwil be okay with this? They never talked about it, how much should they-

But before Ben can come to a sensible conclusion, Gwil’s face is right up in front of his and Ben shuts his eyes and just tries to aim somewhere that is Gwil. His lips come into contact with something and it’s cold, a bit wet and scratchy (it has to be his cheek, right? RIGHT?) and presses a short kiss to it and then stumbles back again.

Gwil looks a bit shocked when Ben opens his eyes, but his eyes fly to Joe for a second, who is of course watching, and his lips pull into a small smile.

They look at each other for a moment, not really knowing what to say, then Ben takes a deep breath. He knows what he’s doing, he’s had relationships before and some of them even met his friends, it’s not that hard.

“Let’s- Let’s go over there, alright?”

Gwil follows him silently and Ben bites his lip wrecking his brain about how they are supposed to pull this off. Should they hold hands? Get out all the PDA? He’s sure Joe will notice that something is off, he’ll find out that Ben is lying, he always knows it and then he’ll be so angry.

They step up to Joe and Sami who watch them with poorly hidden smirks.

“That’s- You already know Gwil, I- I’m gonna go change now.”

So, that went great. Ben pulls the curtain closed behind him and begins to finger at the buttons of his shirt with shaking hands as he hears Joe laughing. This is an absolute shitshow, he’s totally blowing this.

He feels his chest growing tighter with each breath, but the buttons still won’t open. Ben keeps pulling and starts panicking as his heart beats faster and faster. He shouldn’t do this, he shouldn’t be lying to his best friends like this, he shouldn’t use Gwil as some sort of prop and-

The curtain opens a bit and Ben wants to growl at Joe to get the fuck out, but it’s Rami, back in his normal clothes, who bats away Ben’s hands from his collar.

“I told Joe not to tease and I’ll do it again if you want me to”, he says while he unbuttons the bloody shirt easily. Ben takes a deep breath when the constricting fabric is gone from his chest.

“You don’t need to be nervous, Ben. We already know Gwil, he is a great guy. You’ve got nothing to worry about”, he smiles sweetly and squeezes Ben’s shoulder.

“I- yeah. It’s just been a while since I last got to do the whole serious relationship thing and- and I just don’t want to fuck it up, you know?”, Ben feels a stinging in his chest. Lying to Rami is almost worse than lying to Joe because Rami’s always been so good to him and not nearly as big of a shithead as Joe.

“So, it is? Serious, I mean?”

“I-“, fuck, he shouldn’t have said this. Did Gwil tell them something else? 

“I guess? Or, I’d say so, it feels like that. To me.”

“Ah”, Rami nods and smiles. ”I’ll see you outside then.”

“Cheers.”

Fuck.

Dinner is… awkward, to say the least. 

It’s not the worst dinner Gwil’s ever been to, not by far. He knows and likes the people he’s with, Joe and Sami are able to make pleasant conversation in almost any circumstance,   
but Ben beside him is so tense he’s hardly uttered a word during the walk to the restaurant or through ordering their dinner or while they had their entrée.

And he can’t be the only one to notice it, Gwil is sure that at least Rami has picked up on it since he’s been watching the two of them with a knowing look and a little smile.

When the server collects the first round of plates Sami excuses himself, Ben mumbles something about a smoke and Joe declares he’ll go to the sommelier to try another wine and chat about their choice of drinks at the wedding, what leaves Gwil alone with Rami.

He doesn’t mind it, Rami is a nice chap. Always a friendly word on his lips, but the way he looks at Ben and Gwil is a bit unsettling. Like Rami knows something Gwil doesn’t. Has Ben told him that they’re just pretending? Should Gwil say something?

He opens his mouth to explain, what exactly he isn’t sure, Gwil is okay with literally anything that’ll pop into his head at this point just to say something that may count as an explanation for whatever is currently going on between Ben and him, but Rami is faster.

“He’s just nervous”, he says, reaching over the table to lightly squeeze Gwil’s fingers, “He nearly worked himself into a meltdown back at the shop because he wants this to go well.”

“I- yeah?”, Gwil is quite sure that this isn’t what Ben’s worked up about. His throat is dry, and he takes a big sip of his wine. Charity and Phoebe were right, helping Ben lie to his friends is absolutely the worst idea ever and if he should come out of this without an ulcer from worrying and Rami and Joe still willing to visit his shop, he’ll count that as a win.

“Maybe you could try to engage with him a bit more?”, Rami proposes. Upon Gwil’s puzzled expression he quickly adds: “You obviously know, I’m sure, you’ve had relationships, but I find it always reassuring when Joe takes my hand during situations that are a bit tense or awkward. Oh, I sound like a real asshole, don’t I? Just because he’s about to get married, he counts himself an expert on relationships.”

They chuckle, but Gwil sobers up fast. Rami’s advice is actually helpful and makes Gwil feel a bit less out of his depth. 

Can you forget how to be in a relationship? It certainly feels like that to him, no matter that the relationship is actually fake. He really doesn’t know how to act around Ben, if he should touch him or just sit close to him or maybe treat him like any other person sitting at the table?

“Sometimes it does feel a bit like I unlearned how to be in a relationship, you know? It’s just been so long”, he confesses quietly after taking a look around to ensure that neither Ben, Joe nor Sami are coming back.

“Huh. For some reason I’ve always figured that you had someone.”

“I- No, there’s no- Ben’s the first one in a while”, Gwil hurries to correct himself. ‘There’s no-one’ has been his standardized answer to questions like these for so long, saying something different feels foreign to him. “I’m not much for dating.”

“Well, good thing you don’t have to do it anymore then, right?”, Joe cuts through their quiet conversation and places a bottle of wine on the table. “With compliments. And free, I might add.”

“Joe! Stop making people give us stuff for free!”

“I’m American! That’s what we do, you should know that. And I thought that’s why you want to marry me!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Joe.”

Gwil stops following their banter when the chair beside him is pulled out and Ben lets himself fall onto it, furiously rubbing his hands together.

“It’s shite weather out there, mate, you sure you don’t want to move the wedding to spring or summer?”

“Not a chance. I promised my fiancé an autumn wedding and he’ll get one. With storm floods and all”, Joe presses a kiss to Rami’s cheek and Gwil feels his stomach turn a bit, like always when they’re being adorable with each other. 

He knows his jealousy is not fair, but neither is he being alone. Except that he isn’t. Technically.

Gwil turns to Ben who’s settled down again but is still rubbing his hands together. Without thinking much about it, Gwil places one hand on top of Ben’s cold fingers and squeezes a bit.

“You know, if you’d stayed inside, they wouldn’t have grown this cold.”

Ben looks at him like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and mouth hanging open a bit. There’s commotion under the table and Ben’s chair moves a bit which causes him to look down and let’s Gwil see Sami, who’s returned silently, grinning.

Ben gets another kick, but this time from Joe and less subtle (not that any of them are subtle), that makes him look back at Gwil.

“Just a bit of fun, love.”

He knows that’s daring, but engaging with Ben is what Rami said he should do and if they don’t start looking like they have at least some feelings of romantic nature for each other soon, then Ben’s ploy will go up in flames.

Ben himself seems to get that too.

“Cheers”, he leans forward in Gwil’s direction and like earlier at the shop, Gwil neither knows what Ben’s going to do nor how he’s supposed to react to it. Like earlier, Ben’s soft lips miss Gwil’s and instead graze his cheek although it’s more the corner of his mouth than anything else. And like earlier there’s this swooping feeling in Gwil’s stomach, like during the drop of a rollercoaster ride where you’re not sure if this a good or a bad feeling.

Dinner proceeds in a similar nerve-wracking fashion.

Gwilym tries to initiate little touches, pushes his chair closer to Ben’s to bump their knees or elbows together. Ben reacts with nervous looks; shy little smiles seem to be the most he dares to answer with.

When directly prompted though, Ben seems to feel like he’s being backed into a corner and lashes out, figuratively speaking. Joe makes a suggestive comment and Ben reaches out and puts his hand on Gwil’s thigh. He startles so badly, he bangs his knee on the table, what causes Ben to rip his hand away like he got burned.

Later, Ben wipes a droplet of sauce from Gwil’s lip and licks it from his finger. Gwil involuntarily spends the next 10 minutes discreetly trying to adjust his pants. It’s awful.  
They don’t seem to operate on the same wavelength at all and Gwil, for some reason, is deeply disappointed by that fact. The only time they manage to reach a mutual understanding is when they’re ordering dessert, which, no, they would absolutely not share.

By the end of the evening Gwil is so thoroughly weirded out and just uncomfortable, he seriously contemplates to tell Ben that he can’t go on. They just don’t seem to match, Ben is so forward suddenly, almost offensive and that just doesn’t fit the picture Gwil’s had of Ben.

Maybe Phoebe and Charity were right, maybe Gwil doesn’t know Ben after all and in truth he’s just a sleazy guy scoring one date after another. Maybe he’s exactly the kind of guy who’d use and play the guy he gets his coffee from. And he probably knows that Gwil’s in l- has feeli- is not disinclined to maybe get to know him a bit better and to see where that leads.

The tension eventually breaks when they finally exit the restaurant and after saying their goodbyes to Rami, Joe and Sami. Ben lets out a sigh so big, it seems to have collected all the sorrow from the tips of his toes to the ends of his curls.

“I am so, so sorry”, he says, pulling his scarf up to hide his face behind, “I acted like a total prick, oh god. I’m an asshole.”

“Huh”, Gwil says, not really having expected that declaration and self-flagellation but being relieved nevertheless, “Yeah, you kind of are.”

Ben groans, guttural, like a wounded animal, “I- I’m sorry, honestly, I’m not usually like this. Or I’d like to think that I’m not. Am I a total prick?”

“I don’t think you are. Not always, at least”, Gwil likes to think that. He’s never seen Ben act like he did tonight, maybe it was just a slip-up, nervousness, the guilt from lying to his friends. He reaches out and puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder. He feels him lean into his touch a bit.

“Sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten what you feel like and act around a person you truly like”, he quietly admits, still not looking at Gwil and instead studying the sleeves of his coat.

Gwil laughs a bit at that and now Ben does look up with a barely hidden look of hurt.

“It’s just that I said the same thing to Rami earlier”, he hurries to explain, “I think I’m probably not the right partner for… all this.”

Ben sighs again and rubs his eyes. “Well, there’s no going back now, is there?”

“You could say we broke up.”

“Do you want me to?”, Ben seems unsettled by the idea. Sure, it would take him back to the initial problem, but Gwil thinks that this wouldn’t be as bad as Joe and Rami finding out they lied to them through Gwil and Ben failing spectacularly at pretending to be together.

But still, he doesn’t want Ben to say they broke up. Not really, not if he’s really honest with himself, although it’s the wrong thing to do and he wants to do it for even worse reasons.

“We could… talk about this. Boundaries. Routines. Stuff like that would make us look more… like a couple”, he nearly chokes on the word.

“That’s a good idea, actually. Really good.”

“I happen to have them occasionally, yes.”

Gwil’s stomach gives a little flutter upon Ben’s laugh and the sparkle in his eyes. 

And he just grows surer of the fact that their rouse will end horribly. At least for himself.


	2. It's his thighs in sportswear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Gwil meet at the rugby stadium. Things happen not necessarily as planned, what a surprise. Joe's a major cockblock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. There's another chapter to this. And it's still not even close to being done. Why did I think I'd be able to get this into one chapter AND typed out in a few weeks?  
> Anyway, Ben and Gwil want to work out the details their pretend relationship and meet up at Ben's workplace, a rugby stadium, where he works as an assistant trainer. That being said, I don't know anything about rugby and my medical knowledge is limited too. I did some research but that's hardly accurate. Please excuse any inaccuracies. The things I looked up for this chapter: rugby injuries, what are those tight sport pants for men called and, last but not least, does gwilym lee wear hoodies.  
> I'll try to finish this maybe this year? Idk, the profs are being little bitches and I have the distinct feeling that they rejoice in giving insane amounts of homework over the holidays.   
> I'm sorry, @spacedust719, for taking so long.  
> Maybe y'all can enjoy this.

They agree to meet at the rugby stadium, Gwil coming over to pick Ben and his tickets up before they get something to eat together and then talk about… boundaries. Ben is so not looking forward to this particular conversation, but they have to agree on how much PDA they’re actually okay with, pet names that sort of stuff. 

At least the sun has made an effort and it’s not raining for once, so training is not too wet and cold and horrible, but nevertheless exhausting. 

There’s always a bit of wistfulness there, seeing the guys play and sweat and celebrate their victories because Ben could very well could be one of them. He played all the way through school and was even offered scholarships, but eventually he just kept getting injured and didn’t score nearly enough playtime.

But Ben also knows that there’s a big chance he’d be retired by now if he’d gone on into the league. The injuries were no joke and the broken bones and concussions he had gotten from scrawny 14-year-olds had been bad enough already. And he sees that often enough, guys being carried off the field with the only thing left they’ll ever accomplish being fathering a child since that doesn’t take much brain to do, and he’s a bit relieved to have chosen a slightly different path. 

“Put your head down a bit more”, he tells Collin who’s tackling a dummy. 

“Can’t we practice on each other”, the player complains, “This is bullshit.”

“I-“, Ben looks to his boss, who rolls his eyes but nods. “Fine. I’ll get a mouthguard.”

He tunes out the Collin’s nagging about the protection. Ben’s rather safe than sorry and the player is known for his vicious but technical careless tackles. Putting his mouthguard in his eyes catch on a   
figure on the stands, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and looking out onto the field. It’s Gwil. 

Ben wants to wave at him, just somehow catch his attention, but at the same time he doesn’t want Gwil to look at him because, well, that would just be embarrassing, wouldn’t it? Especially if he saw Ben play and get tackled by Collin. He feels hot under his shirt and just stuffs the guard in and wants to slink away back onto the field, but he sees Gwil catching his figure, smiling and waving.  
Ben does wave back but turns around immediately after and jogs back to Collin, who, sure enough, is smirking at him.

“Who’s that? You got a boyfriend?”

“Shut up and get to work, Collin.”

“Do you want me to go easy on you, so you look good in front of loverboy?”, Collin continues to tease but gets ready for the run up.

Ben catches him easily when the player hits him, he is still more teenager than fully grown man after all, but it’s nowhere near the usual strength he puts into his tackles. He’s humoring him. Ben kicks his heels lightly when Collin returns to his starting point.

“I’ll make you run 5 extra rounds if you don’t take this seriously”, he warns.

The next one is harder, but Ben manages to stand his ground. His shoes leave muddy furrows in the grounds though, Collin is getting there. He waits for the next try, but Collin stops halfway because of a loosened shoelace and kneels down to fix it.

Meanwhile Ben shoots a quick look to the stands and finds Gwil sitting in the row nearest to the field, watching them. He turns away immediately, ears burning. What the hell is happening? He’s never been this awkward around Gwil before, save for the dinner of course. He doesn’t have feelings for him, aside from the totally objective opinion that Gwil is devilishly handsome. So why can’t he even look at him without turning into a walking disaster?

Collin’s next tackle catches him a bit off guard. The force of the hit sends Ben stumbling backwards until he loses his footing and lands on his ass. Collin grins at him when he pushes himself off the ground.

“How was that, boss? Serious enough for you?”

It’s clear that Collin doesn’t see Ben as his trainer equaling a person of authority, but Ben is a) only an assistant, and b) not a fan of demanding respect solely on base of a certain position so he lets it go.

“One more time, Collin, so you don’t forget how to tackle properly.”

As the player returns to his position, Ben dares to glance at Gwil again, who’s- laughing.

Gwilym is leaning back in his seat, one hand is on his stomach, the other one is over his mouth and he is _laughing_ at Ben. Who doesn’t understand at all what about the situation is so hilarious, until he looks down on himself and sees his right side covered in mud. His clothes are fairly waterproof, so at least the water doesn’t seep through immediately, but he must look like an idiot.   
Sure, being covered in mud when playing rugby is nothing particularly special or funny, but there’s lump of wet earth with some grass sticking to his butt.

“Oh, damn it. Collin, wait-“, but it’s too late, Collin is already in front of him and hits him full force. Ben, despite knowing that he should just let himself fall, tries to block, stumbles back, off-balance since he didn’t face Collin straight, his right foot catches on one of the furrows his shoes tore into the ground earlier and makes him fall directly onto his right shoulder with Collin on top of him.

The air is pushed out of his lungs and for a moment the pressure on his ribcage is all Ben can think of. Then he feels the pain in his right shoulder that brings white flashes into his sight and settles as nausea in his stomach.

“Shit, mate, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”, Collin scrambles to get off Ben, who then turns his face into the grass, a groan tearing from his throat.

“Oh fuck, uh, I need help!”

Ben is not sure how long it takes for people to reach them, but eventually someone touches the arm clutching his shoulder and turns him to lie on his back. He squints upwards and sees the face from one of the team’s physical therapists.

“Ben?”, he asks, “What happened? Did you hit your head?”

“No”, Ben grunts and struggles to sit up against the hands trying to hold him down, “It’s the shoulder. Head and ribs are fine.”

He knows what dislocated shoulder feels like and this is definitely that.

“Okay, let me take a look.”

Before the therapist actually checks his shoulders, he does quickly look over Ben’s neck and head, despite his protests. He carefully examines the shoulder, its range of motion and the feeling in Ben’s hand and fingers.

“Yep, definitely dislocated. That’s a trip to the hospital for you, Hardy.”

Ben whines and not just because of the pain. He really doesn’t want to go to hospital for an injury stupid as this one. He wants to call himself a trainer and can’t even watch his own step.

“Can’t you set it?”

“And have the guys come up to me during games to set their bones so that they can play on and eventually kill themselves? Nu-uh, man, you’re the trainer, you better set a good example.”

“Fine”, Ben relents, because he knows it’s true. Some of these guys would actually see themselves get gravely injured for a win. A couple of hands carefully pull him to his feet and grunts and sways a bit   
when gravity sends sparks of pain through his shoulder. He cradles the arm protective against his chest. He kind of forgets about Gwil standing at the field, who can only watch Ben stumble past him.

Goosebumps are covering Ben’s arms when he sits on a bed in the examination room and waits for someone to officially release him. They cut off his long-sleeved shirt before getting him x-rays and he can’t get his hoodie on by himself and is now forced to sit in only his undershirt and some semi dirty sport tights.  
It’s not bad, at least that’s what the doctor said. They did a first x-ray, set the shoulder and then did a second one to check if everything is okay, and apparently Ben got off lucky and only has to wear his arm in a sling for a few weeks and do some PT. He already spoke to his boss too, who promised him a nice long telling-off about safety in sport as soon as Ben is able to come back and also forbade him to do so until he’s ready. 

There’s a knock on the door and Ben already starts to slide off the bed expecting his energetic nurse to barge in with his release papers and instructions, but instead the door is only opened hesitantly and Gwilym sticks his head through the gap.

“Here you are, thank god, I thought I was gonna see another grandpa’s butthole”, he steps in and closes the door behind him.

It startles a laugh out of Ben who then cradles his arm against his chest when the movement jostles his shoulder. It’s not bad, the pain meds they gave him when they re-set the shoulder are still numbing most of the pain, but he still remembers it vividly.

“What are you doing here?”, Ben asks holding his hoodie against his chest.

“You got hurt, I wanted to see if you’re alright. It’s kind of my fault, after all”, Gwil grins sheepishly.

“Why is it your fault? Collin tackled me.”

“Yeah, but I distracted you. Pretty sure you could’ve blocked that if you had been focusing on it.”

Gwil winks at him, fucking _winks_ at him and Ben has to cough to cover up how dry his throat suddenly gets and this tears at his shoulder and he draws in a sharp breath.

“Oh- oh no, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

Gwil’s hands flutter around Ben as he is unsure where to place them but eventually settles for putting them down again and stepping back.

“It’s fine, I’m okay, really”, Ben’s quick to say, but there’s another knock on the door before he has to turn his brain upside down as to how to continue this conversation.

It’s the doctor, a nurse and the release papers, finally.

“You’re all ready to go now, Mr. Hardy. Rest that shoulder for the next couple of days, take it easy, I’m sure you can work out a plan for PT with your team’s- who are you?”, the doctor looks up from the clipboard at Gwil.

“I-uh..”

“He’s my boyfriend”, damn, that was surprisingly easy to say. 

_This is Gwil, my boyfriend._ Ben does like the sound of that. He shakes his head and tries to follow the doctor’s instructions who has the nurse handing Gwil some pills and a prescription.

“Make sure he really rests, okay? With the season coming up I’m sure it’s not easy.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Ben doesn’t really hear the rest of the conversation, only that the doc and the nurse say goodbye, he’s too busy staring at Gwil’s hands holding Ben’s stuff. They’re nice. Why has Ben never noticed before how nice Gwil’s hands are? He works with them, Ben could see them anytime Gwil makes him a coffee. He really should pay more-

“Ben?”

“Huh?”

Gwil is in front of him, smiling.

“Are you okay? The doctor said the pain meds could make you a bit loopy.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine”, he slips down the bed and heads towards the door, but Gwil’s hand on his left arm stops him.

“Don’t you want to put on a jacket or something? It’s a bit cold outside.”

“It’s okay, can’t get the arm through a sleeve anyways”, Ben shrugs with his good shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, of course, obviously”, either the pain meds are making Ben actually a bit loopy or Gwil is blushing. “How about you take my coat and I’ll take your hoodie?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, absolutely. Let me just-“, he puts the pills on the bed and slips out of his jacket, takes Ben’s hoodie and then helps him to slip his left arm into the sleeve and carefully drapes the other one over Ben’s shoulder.

If heaven exists, Ben’s quite sure it feels like that. It’s warm and a comforting weight on Ben, who, admittedly, feels a bit floaty standing up, and it smells like Gwil. Coffee and sweet like pastries, a whiff of cologne and just… warm. He could fall asleep like this.

When Ben manages to look up again, Gwil is in his hoodie. The sleeves are a bit short, so he’s pushed them up, but surprisingly the overall length seems to fit. 

“How do I look?”, he asks cheekily.

“I- uh, good?”, Ben feels himself blushing and desperately searches for a way to change the topic. “How did you know where to find me anyway?”

“Collin came up to me when you went to the dressing room and said you’d probably be treated here and then I just tried my luck. Hence the comment about the, uh, butts. He seemed to feel quite guilty about it. Collin, I mean.”

“He really doesn’t need to though”, Ben says when Gwil holds the door open for him and they step outside into the hall, “I was distracted, his tackle was fine.”

“So, it was my fault then”, Gwil bites his lip, “Please know that I’m sorry, honestly. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt; it was supposed to be a bit of fun.”

“No, yeah, I know. It’s not your fault either, just an accident, it happens”, Ben shrugs, or tries to at least, Gwil’s coat positively dwarfs him, he’s not sure how much movement is actually visible underneath it. “Gwil, I don’t think I’m really up for talking about… all this tonight.”

Ben vaguely gestures at the space between them and shivers when they are outside again, and a gust of wind blows underneath the open coat.

“Yes, I understand, of course. Let’s take a taxi to your place, alright?”

Gwil doesn’t immediately notice that Ben stopped walking beside him, only turns back after a couple of steps more. Ben has his mouth open and tries to find a polite way to say ‘Didn’t I just tell you to piss off?’ because he really, really doesn’t want to get into a territory where his pain med-addled brain could maneuver him into a position that’s even more precarious than the one they’re in right now.

But Gwil just smiles, comes back to Ben and squeezes his arm.

“Somebody should keep an eye on you, doctor’s orders. And what a terrible boyfriend would I be if I just left you alone?”, he chuckles. “I just want you to get home safe and settled in with a cup of tea or something, if you’re okay with that?”

It’s quite easy to just give in to Gwil’s offer. Ben is tired and he feels his shoulder starting to throb again and the coat is so nice, and he really doesn’t want to fight his way through the tube alone.

“Alright.”

Ben’s flat is nice. Nothing special, just a flat that clearly shows that a single guy without a knack for decorating lives there. An open kitchen with connected living room and two more doors leading to bedroom and bathroom. 

Ben carelessly toes off his trainers and Gwil is immediately at his side to help with coat. He can’t help but wondering if he’s being very obvious or if this is a normal amount of helpfulness you’d expect when a friend is injured. Jesus, it’s like he’s never had a crush or a normal friendship with anybody with how he’s questioning his every move. Hopefully Ben doesn’t notice.

It seems he doesn’t, at least. Ben immediately shuffles over to his sofa and drops down on it, groaning a little when he leans back. He looks a little pale. Understandably so. 

“How do you feel? Can I get you anything?”

“No no, it’s fine. Nothing I haven’t had before”, he manages a half grin.

“So, you’ve played rugby through school?”

“Yeah”, Ben rubs at his eyes, “Almost all twelve years. Did you do any sports?”

“I tried myself at rugby, but more as a family thing. 3 older siblings, two of them boys, it was all very competitive. I’m more of an endurance guy myself, running, cycling, those kind of things”, Gwil glances at Ben, worried he might just bore him to death, but Ben is looking directly at him. It makes him feel hot under the hoodie. 

Right, the hoodie. This soft and a little worn hoodie that seems to be the coziest thing in the world, that one. Gwil should take it off before he comes too close to take it home with him.

“Do you want to change into something else?”, not that Ben in his undershirt isn’t a sight, but he looks a bit uncomfortable.

“I- yeah, I should, uhm”, he gets up and glances at his phone, “I’m afraid I don’t really have anything to eat here. Maybe some frozen pizzas or something.” Ben trails off and looks questioningly at Gwil.

“Do you feel hungry?”, Gwil prompts.

“Uhm.”

Ben looks like he isn’t quite sure about how he feels. A bit queasy probably, if Gwil’s own experiences are anything to go off, but something warm in his stomach surely wouldn’t be so bad, especially with the meds, even if it’s just frozen pizza.

“I’ll just stick one in the oven and if you end up being hungry, you can grab a bite.”

Ben nods and starts to shuffle to his bedroom but turns around with his hand on the door handle.

“Thanks, Gwil.”

Gwil nods and smiles and then immediately turns to Ben’s freezer to hide his blush.

Eventually, they end up on the couch in the living room, although Gwil is not really sure how that happened. He hasn’t asked to stay and Ben hasn’t told him to leave neither, so they first sat in the kitchen after Ben had changed and waited for the pizza and once that was done, they moved to the couch and Ben had put on a random movie.

He seems tired though. After two slices he’s taken a pill and now he’s nibbling on his third, slouching down so he’s more laying on the upholstery than sitting on it.

“You know, if I should go, you just need to say so”, Gwil proposes. He doesn’t want to go, not really, it’s comfortable here with Ben even without actually talking to each other. But it’s the right, the polite thing to do. Ben is hurt and probably doesn’t want him around.

“Wha- Oh, no. No, I’m fine, it’s okay”, Ben scrambles to sit up again and scrubs the sleeve of his zip up hoodie over his face.

“Are you sure? Maybe it’d be better if you went to bed?”

“Oh no, you came all this way here because we wanted to talk about… us. We can do that.”

That’s not exactly what Gwil thought would happen, but okay, he’ll take it.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Uhm”, he seems to have caught Ben off guard. Gwil himself isn’t too keen either to awkwardly spell out what he’s okay with and not but all the nights lying awake and pondering over this situation he’s come up with a game plan in case Ben doesn’t know how to approach this.

“Maybe we could just talk? Ask each other question like you usually do on a date?”, ugh, great wording, Gwil, like this is an actual date. He hurries to add so Ben isn’t put off by the idea: “Just so we get to know each other better and maybe know the things a couple normally knows about each other?”

Ben looks at him for a second that drags out forever and Gwil is totally unable to gauge his reaction, but then he breathes out a little laugh.  
“Yeah, yeah, we could do that. The sensible thing to do, really”, he takes a sip of his tea. “So, uh, three siblings, you said? You’re what? Somewhere in the middle?”

“No, the youngest, actually. I’ve always been the baby”, Gwil says.

“Then how did the youngest Lee pass his time in the streets of.. Brum, right?”

Gwil nods, impressed. He doesn’t know exactly when he dropped that fact in a conversation, but Ben remembered. There’s a flutter in Gwil’s chest.

“I- yes, you’re absolutely right, uhm, what did I do? Some sports, as I said, but I quite liked to act in my teens.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, nothing big, just some plays in school and then some during college, but, well”, he shrugs.

Ben leans forward, eyes never leaving Gwil and scoots a bit closer to him, almost unconsciously.

“Why did you stop? It seems like you enjoyed it.”

“Well, in a family of doctors a degree in business is probably the biggest concession you can get. I never really thought of pursuing acting as a steady hobby, much less as a career. But they’ve stopped nagging ever since I have the café to show. I mean, I didn’t start it, but we’re not bankrupt yet”, he gives Ben a crooked grin. “Did you only ever play rugby?”

“Some football with friends and my brother in my free time, but not that much else, uhm”, he drives his fingers through his curls, fidgeting a bit.

“And?”, prompts Gwil sensing that there’s a bit more to that statement.

“Well, uh, I tried it too. Acting, I mean”, where he first focused on Gwil, Ben’s now sure to avoid his eyes, “I quite enjoyed reading Shakespeare in English, so my teacher thought I might have fun trying it out. They put on a rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream that year.”

“Did you do it?”, while Ben seems a bit uncomfortable, or at least embarrassed to tell Gwil about it, it doesn’t really surprise Gwil. Maybe in the way that he didn’t thought Ben actually did do theater besides rugby, but not as in he didn’t thought Ben would ever do theater. It fits him.

“Yeah”, the room is not bright enough to actually see it, but the hint of a blush on Ben’s cheeks is undeniable, “Liked it too. But I had already invested so much time into rugby and my parents really wanted to see me make it, so I eventually went for that. With mediocre success, evidently.”

“I wouldn’t say that. But maybe we do both have the tendency to settle for other people’s expectations.”

Ben’s very close to him. Only Gwil’s knee rests on the upholstery between them, Ben’s left arm is propped up on the back rest.

“I don’t wanna do that anymore”, Ben murmurs.

“Me neither”, it isn’t more than a whisper that leaves Gwil’s throat. His heart is hammering like crazy in his chest. Are they about to kiss? Is this real? Or is Ben just so doped up that he lost all his critical thinking skills and is actually about to fall over and pass out? Should Gwil make the first step? Or would that be harassment since Ben is under the influence of some pain meds?

“I like you, Gwil.”

“I like you too.”

Ben’s lips look so soft and plush, so kissable. Gwil can’t even detect a hint of stubble on the skin around. He wants to trail his fingers down Ben’s cheek, wants to feel how soft his curls are to his touch.

“Maybe we could-“

The front door bangs open and Joe flies in, his coat half open, scarf nearly falling off, with a bag that seems to be this close to spilling its contents on Ben’s floor.

“Ben! Ben, oh my god! Are you okay? I was in meetings all day and had my phone silent and only saw your message when we finished. Are you okay? Were you at the hospital?”

“Joe, I’m fine”, Ben hastily untangles himself from Gwil and gets up to go over to Joe, but midway his steps falter and he groans a bit.

Gwil jumps up to get him, but Joe’s faster. He takes Ben by the uninjured arm and carefully guides him back to the sofa.

“Did you hit your head? Are you concussed? What did the doctors say? Please say you saw a doctor!”

“Yes, Joe, I was at the hospital”, Ben bats at Joe’s hands fluttering around him, “I’m fine, just dislocated my shoulder.”

“You nearly fainted like, 5 seconds ago, Ben, you’re not fine”, Joe barks and Gwil involuntarily takes a few steps back. He’s never heard Joe using a tone like that.

“I just stood up too fast”, Ben mumbles. “I’m okay, really. Nothing’s hurt except the shoulder, I promise.”

Joe scrutinizes Ben for a moment longer, then he sighs and rubs his eyebrow. “Jesus, Ben, don’t do that to me.”

“I didn’t do anything. And I texted you from the hospital.”

“And then not again for nearly three hours! I thought you were in a coma or something.”

“I’m okay”, Ben says again and searches for Joe’s hand to squeeze his fingers, “Really.”

“Is he telling the truth?”, Gwil is surprised by Joe’s sudden attention, he has been so focused on Ben since he came in.

“Yes, he got x-rays, pain meds and the doctor’s okay to go home. He’s supposed to take it easy the next few days, the meds can cause dizzy spells.”

“Mh”, Joe says as he stands with his arms crossed in front of his chest looking at Ben.

“You two realize that I can handle myself, right?”, Ben grumbles but barely gets the words out before a huge yawn forces its way through. He rubs at his eye and Gwil, well, Gwil can absolutely not hide the   
soft smile on his lips. It’s too adorable.

“Sure. But it’s still bedtime for little Benny now.”

Suddenly, all happens very fast. Joe carefully pulls Ben up and then shuffles with him into his bedroom where their voices are muffled by the almost closed door and Gwil is left alone in the living room with a feeling in his chest that is so warm on one hand, but also could crush his ribs if he took a too deep breath.

To avoid thinking about what the hell that might mean, he starts cleaning up, puts away the left-over pizza, rinses their plates and mugs and then collects the pills and a glass of water to bring to the bedroom.

When he sticks his head through the door, Ben’s already settled down with his arm propped up on a pillow and half asleep. Carefully Gwil places the glass on the nightstand and then collects a pair of socks and pants off the ground so Ben doesn’t slip when he gets up.

The mumble is so low and rumbly that Gwil almost doesn’t take it as actual words.

“Can you stay tonight?”

He surely means Joe, Gwil thinks, he’s Ben’s best friend, it’s only natural to want him to stay. But Ben is looking at him, _Gwil_ , with half-lidded eyes, yes, but he’s clearly looking at him.

Of course, he wants to say, of course I’ll stay, whatever you want, because as much as he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, Gwil is head over heels for Ben and tonight just proved that. They got along so well, not at all like in the restaurant, and Ben was so relaxed around him, totally unguarded, and-

“Sure, I’ll stay, buddy, no problem. Let me just call Rami and tell him.”

Oh. Of course. Joe.

Ben’s asleep by the time Gwil has reached the bedroom door.


End file.
